I’m going to show how watching people get slapped on Reality TV can be a trading lesson.

Recently someone was telling me about one of those TV shows where a hidden camera films people. I’m referring to those shows that basically use the same gag over and over; and viewers can’t seem to get enough of it.  Although the gag may be the same, the reason the shows producers repeatedly show us the same gag or silly situation over and over with different people is because every person who gets set-up for the gag reacts in their own unique way.  Although each person (the sucker) gets exposed to the same circumstances or event, they each have different feelings about the event and very different reactions. It’s the different reactions that the producers love, that’s what makes people want to watch.  Anyone remember Candid Camera?

So, imagine the following: Choose a random chair in a restaurant, and every day for the next month walk up to whoever is sitting in that same chair and slap them in the face.  No words, no warning, just walk up to them, slap them and walk out of the restaurant (no, this is not an actual recommendation, to do this, don’t blame me if you get attacked, arrested or sued).

What will happen over the course of the 30 days is that you will see many different reactions on the part of the slap-ee. Some people will take a swing right back at you before you can exit; others will spontaneously laugh or giggle nervously; some will become fearful; some may panic; others will look around bewildered, hoping to get an explanation; and others will ask for an explanation. Lost of different types of reactions. The emotional experience of the slap-ees will vary widely, as will the behavioral reactions, just like in those hidden camera shows.

Notice how I said, ‘emotional experience’? I deliberately used the word ‘experience’ to illustrate that the same event can and will produce a different response in different people. On the surface, it looks like things outside us create our emotional experience. But in reality, it is not the outside event that causes the emotion, its what the slap-ee brings to the table (pardon the restaurant pun).

The lesson I want you to learn from this is that although an emotion may be affected and provoked by an external event, the event itself does not create the emotion per se. We are complex creatures and carry around with us a history of being wronged, rejected, ignored, neglected, attacked, and praised etc. Wherever we are, our history is with us, and its mostly outside of our awareness (its mostly subconscious – if it wasn’t we would be even more anxious). So, the next time you have a strong reaction to something…think of the hidden camera gag (being video taped while trading is not a bad idea). Next time you have a strong reaction to something, you need to realize that you’re probably not just responding to an external event. Learn what the internal and subconscious context is for the feeling. This will help you to control your actions.